it's has been days that i post something.cuz my laptop is with ling.well,i do have alot of things to write.but i just can't really remember what happen these few days.when i can finally remember then i shall post.if not......
these few days.i have been thinking alot.about my past.
when i'm young,people around dote on me alot.they kinda spoilt me.haa.i get what i want,i have everything done the way i want it to be.i'm very close to all my relatives.but slowly,i chose to drift apart from them.why?cuz there are too much things i don't want them to know.even my parent,i never talk about my feelings to them.they all ask me one question before,"where did the nice little girl in you goes?why did you change into someone that is so mean and heartless?"i did not answer.cuz they will never understand.because of my changes,my relationship with my family and relative is getting bad to worse.the last time i ever saw my relatives is about a year ago.i just don't like seeing them.
they keep asking me when will i get a boyfriend?i feel like telling them,"hey,i'm a lesbian"but i know if i ever do that the person that will get hurt is my mum.what ever wrong things i do,the person being blame is her.i feel very sorry.
mummy,i'm sorry.i have not been a good daughter.sorry for hurting you.
hmmm...now let's talk bout my relationships.haa.i start seeing people when i'm 15.it's when i turn into a bung.i have lots of relationships,but there are only 3 i'm serious in.
recently,i just ended a 1 year plus relationship.i was the one that chose to break up.not her fault,but mine.i fall for someone else.when she beg me for patch back,she cry and cry.i feel very upset,but i still choose to end it.i say hurtfulful words,i do things to hurt her.i do it because i don't want to give her any hope.i rather she hate me then she love me.it will be easier for her to forget me this way.i rather be the bad guy.
i do love her once,but things just seems to drift us apart.i've try to mend it,but it doesn't work.cuz i'm the only one doing it.i don't blame her.but i have to thank her.thanks for everything.i really hope,one day i ever met her on the street,we can smile at each other and say hi.i'm sorry,friend.
i guess i shall stop here.
if you ever accept me,i promise i'll be the sweetest,nicest bf in the world.
these few days.i have been thinking alot.about my past.
when i'm young,people around dote on me alot.they kinda spoilt me.haa.i get what i want,i have everything done the way i want it to be.i'm very close to all my relatives.but slowly,i chose to drift apart from them.why?cuz there are too much things i don't want them to know.even my parent,i never talk about my feelings to them.they all ask me one question before,"where did the nice little girl in you goes?why did you change into someone that is so mean and heartless?"i did not answer.cuz they will never understand.because of my changes,my relationship with my family and relative is getting bad to worse.the last time i ever saw my relatives is about a year ago.i just don't like seeing them.
they keep asking me when will i get a boyfriend?i feel like telling them,"hey,i'm a lesbian"but i know if i ever do that the person that will get hurt is my mum.what ever wrong things i do,the person being blame is her.i feel very sorry.
mummy,i'm sorry.i have not been a good daughter.sorry for hurting you.
hmmm...now let's talk bout my relationships.haa.i start seeing people when i'm 15.it's when i turn into a bung.i have lots of relationships,but there are only 3 i'm serious in.
recently,i just ended a 1 year plus relationship.i was the one that chose to break up.not her fault,but mine.i fall for someone else.when she beg me for patch back,she cry and cry.i feel very upset,but i still choose to end it.i say hurtfulful words,i do things to hurt her.i do it because i don't want to give her any hope.i rather she hate me then she love me.it will be easier for her to forget me this way.i rather be the bad guy.
i do love her once,but things just seems to drift us apart.i've try to mend it,but it doesn't work.cuz i'm the only one doing it.i don't blame her.but i have to thank her.thanks for everything.i really hope,one day i ever met her on the street,we can smile at each other and say hi.i'm sorry,friend.
i guess i shall stop here.
if you ever accept me,i promise i'll be the sweetest,nicest bf in the world.
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