In memories.....

I'm tired le.tired of hanging on.too much guessing.she tends to hide things and do things behind my back.i try to tolerate everything but i couldn't find any more excuses to lie to myself.it's like to her,spending money on me is like caring for me.that was not i really wanted.all i ever needed was the truth in her voice,the cares that we use to have,the love that we gave,the trust that we cherish the most and the dreams that had fade away.


in her eyes,my care and concern had become controlling.i no longer know how to care for her anymore.for whatever i do,she tends to think otherwise.

for why i chose to remain a stranger to her,is to protect myself.for when i think of her,it reminds me of all the scars she left in my heart,the dreams she chose to shatter,oath that had broken.after all these,i could no longer imagine myself as a friend,for it's too painful for me.

to her,i maybe heartless.i've hurt her.but i don't want to take the risk of getting hurt again.i'm locking up my heart to find back who i used to be,friends that i've lost and the pride i must regain.i've faith that in my next relationship,it will be better,i'll be happier and never to lose myself again.



3rd of september 1.40am,i've woke up from a dream that lasted 16 months and 4 days.